Long ago, a woman from England was planning a trip to India. She even booked a small guest house in the town, one that the local schoolmaster owned. But she was worried. Did the house have a WC. In England, that’s what they called a bathroom, a WC. (It stands for "Water Closet.") So, she wrote the schoolmaster to ask about the WC. But the school master didn’t’ know English well. He didn’t know what a WC was. He asked the local priest. Together they decided WC must mean, Wayside Chapel. And, go figure, they had such a chapel not that far away. So together, the priest and schoolmaster wrote back the following:
Dear Madam,
The WC is located just 9 miles from the house. You will find it in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It can hold as many as 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. Many people visit in the summer months, so please plan to arrive early. But don’t worry, there is plenty of standing room.
My daughter was married in the WC. In fact, that’s where she met her husband. The wedding was wonderful. There were 10 people in every seat. It was moving to see the expressions on their faces. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went, which pains her greatly. But others come to the WC and bring their lunch. They make a day of it. Others wait till the last minute and arrive just in time!
I would recommend you go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. And we’ve just added a bell which rings every time a person enters. We are even holding a fundraiser to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.
With Deepest Regards,
The Schoolmaster
Much to the puzzlement of the schoolmaster and the priest, the woman wrote back and cancelled her reservation. It’s a bit funny that story. But it points to a real issue. Who hasn’t had a miscommunication at work or in their marriage or friendships or with their family? And all that missed communication gets messy. It wrecks relationships. It leads to assumptions that lead to big mistakes. How often have you hurt others or been hurt, and it all began with a bad communication? And that’s why these words you’re about to hear carry such power. For when you mess up communication here, it not only affects the present. It affects the future, even for generations to come. How do you make sure that doesn’t happen? Here God shows you the way. Listen and here what God has to say.
Deuteronomy 5:16
Why did God make this commandment, this call to honor parents, even above murder in the list of the top ten? What makes honoring parents so crucial? God tells you in these words; “so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
You see, God’s relationship with the people of Israel depended on communication, on making sure the story of God’s love got passed on to the next generations. And where did that story get passed on? It mainly got passed on in people’s families. If parents didn’t pass on the story, then eventually the story would fade and with it the love.
So, God makes it clear. Parents gotta share the story of God’s love, and kids need to listen. Otherwise the story will fade and so will the love. And God is talking to people who don’t just know the story. They’ve experienced it. They have seen God save them again and again. They trust God’s love. Why? They have experienced that love again and again. God wants their kids to experience the love too. So, God tells the kids to listen. Honor these folks who are passing on the love. If you don’t, listen, it won’t just hurt you. It will hurt folks for generations to come.
That makes sense. When kids don’t get the love, they can’t pass it on. They lose that love. They lose that connection to God. And because they lose it, their kids lose it too. And the loss goes on and on, generation after generation.
Growing up, my dad hardly ever said anything positive to me. And even when he did, it was so awkward. He bragged about me to others. But he couldn’t say it to me. I couldn’t figure out why. But then one day I got it. I learned how families repeat stuff generation after generation.
With that learning, I went home to visit my parents. I went to my dad and asked him one simple question. Tell me a time that your dad affirmed you. He replied. I can remember only one time. I dug a ditch on the family farm. And my dad said. “Good ditch, son.” That was it. My dad didn’t know how to affirm me, because his father had never affirmed him. He tried to affirm. But he didn’t know how. No one had ever shown him. And that loss didn’t begin with his father, my grandfather. It began with the father before him, who was an opium addict. That relationship got so bad that my grandfather ran away at 14 and never returned.
Do you see how this happens? If the love gets lost, that loss keeps going generation after generation. The wounds keep getting passed on. Maybe, you know what I mean. Maybe you carry such wounds. Maybe in some ways, the love got lost in your own family. So how do you heal the wounds. How do you get the love back that was lost?
It begins with this command. When my dad and I had that conversation, I told him, why I asked the question. I shared how his lack of affirmation had wounded me. He shared how he had tried but realized that he had failed. And I got it. Not only did I forgive him, I grew to love him more for his honesty and vulnerability I honored that and honored him, and more of the love began to return.
But that coming back did not begin there, it began with my grandfather, who we called Daddy Mac.
Daddy Mac was heading towards addiction just like his dad. He had even become a well-known moonshiner. But inside he felt worthless, until a preacher came to town. And that preacher got his shoes dirty and met my grandfather in the middle of his North Carolina tobacco field. He called him Mr. Lonnie. He showed Daddy Mac respect and love. He even asked him to help him start a church among some holly trees down the road. And Daddy Mac said yes, not just to the preacher, but to the love. And the church he and others planted among those holly trees? They called it Hollywood Presbyterian. And with that small church, the love began to return. The wounds began to heal. And in that love, Daddy Mac, took his dying daddy and cared for him. He forgave him, and he honored him.
If you have wounds from your family, they can be healed. If the love has been lost, it can return. And you can pass it on to generations before you, and generations ahead. After all, generations later, who would have imagined, Daddy Mac’s grandson would be preaching in a Hollywood a thousand miles from that one in North Carolina. But here I am.
It happens when you trust in the love, in the love of a God who, in Jesus, gave up everything to show you the love, to give you the love. It happens, when you trust what is true. You are God’s beloved child. God does love you like that.
Maybe you had a family that didn’t pass on the love, but it can still be yours. Maybe you even had a church experience that didn’t pass on the love, but it can still be yours. All you need to do is say yes, to say yes to the love. And when you do, see how it will change you, how it will change your families, how it will change everything.
In the name of the God who first loved us, in the name of God who in Jesus died for us, and in the name of this God who loves you and I no matter what. Amen.
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