Sunday, October 14, 2018

In the World of MeToo and Deep Political Divisions, What Is the Way Forward? Here, Jesus Points the Way


Show me the money!  Show me the money!  Does anyone remember that line?  Does anyone remember that movie?   I haven’t seen it in twenty years, and I still remember that line.   You know you’ve got a great movie, when it not only has one great line, it has two, heck, you could even say that movie Jerry Maguire has three great lines.   As much as I loved show me the money, the lines in this climactic scene get me even more.



Does anyone remember that scene from the movie?   More importantly, does anyone remember what was going on before that scene happened? If you haven’t seen the film, let me bring you up to date.  Jerry Maguire, the Tom Cruise character, has a marriage that’s gone on the rocks.  His wife doesn’t know if Jerry really loves her.   She’s gone home to be with her sister.  And when Jerry rushes into her sister’s house to declare his love, do you know what he walks into?  He walks into a room of angry women, all of whom have gathered to share how disappointed they are by the men in their lives.   But when Jerry Maguire declares his love for his beloved, his words not only win her over, they win them over.   It’s a great scene!  

But now over twenty years later, where have we come to?  We live in the painful reality of “metoo.” People, mainly women but some men too, have bravely broken silence on powerful men who have not simply behaved badly, but criminally, leaving wreckage, brokenness in their wake.  We have felt that anger and pain.   And in the midst of that anger and pain, we approach an election with a nation angrier and more divided than before.   What is going on?   What is happening?   More crucially, how do you find a way forward, a way that leads to healing and not more bitterness, a way that leads to people coming together rather than breaking apart?

In these words, Jesus shows you the way.  Let’s listen and hear what Jesus has to say.


In these words, these challenging words, these difficult words, Jesus points you to what you must understand to avoid wrecking relationships in your life.   And what Jesus points to holds true for every relationship, even our relationships as a nation.  What is Jesus telling you?   Jesus is telling you when it comes to relationships, everything is connected.    And when you don’t realize that, that’s when your relationships get wrecked.

That’s why Jesus warns people so strongly about guarding even their thoughts of unfaithfulness when it comes to marriage.   Jesus isn’t saying these things because Jesus is uptight about sex.   Jesus is saying these things because Jesus knows.  When it comes to relationships, everything is connected. 
After all, if you’ve ever had an affair or know someone who has, one thing you know.  That affair did not come out of nowhere.   It began up here.   It began in the head long before it led to anything out there.   But Jesus is saying more than that.   Even if your thoughts about adultery never lead to the actual deed, don’t think that they don’t affect how you live your life.

That’s why watching porn messes people up.  Lots of folks don’t think that.  They think. How could some imaginary scene I’m watching on a screen mess up a real relationship in my real life?   How?  It can and will because everything is connected.   That’s why researchers found that people who didn’t view any porn had lower levels of negative communication in their relationships than those who did.  And get this, they even had higher sexual satisfaction than those who did.   Why was that true?  Because, when it comes to relationships, everything is connected.

Jesus isn’t talking here about repressing sexual desires.   Jesus is talking about not taking them in a dangerously destructive direction.   Look, everyone is going to have sexual desire.   You’re going to notice someone who looks attractive.   You’re going to appreciate their beauty, their allure.  And guess what.  That’s awesome.  God created you to admire the beauty of God’s good creation.   Christian artists have been painting sexy pictures for centuries.   But Jesus is saying when your thoughts of admiration turn into thoughts of possession, something awful has happened in your head.   You have begun to turn a human being into an object, someone whose only purpose is to give you pleasure.    And thoughts like that affect you.  They affect how you view others, how you respect them or don’t.  And at their worst, they lead to the horrible abuses that we’ve been hearing about for the past year.   

Here’s the point, Jesus is making.  When it comes to relationships, everything is connected.  Your thoughts matter.  How you view people up here matters.   And if you didn’t get how seriously Jesus views them, then his words on cutting out eyes or cutting off hands should clarify things.  
In the rooms of AA and other 12 step groups, they have this phrase “stinking thinking.”   And that’s what Jesus is pointing to.  Jesus is saying.  Don’t ever underestimate how stinking thinking sabotages your life.    It will do that in your intimate relationships.  It will do that in every relationship, even the relationship you have with yourself.    Jesus gets that everyone will have lustful thoughts, angry thoughts, negative thoughts.   What Jesus is telling you is something that the Christian thinker, Martin Luther put well.   You can’t stop the birds from flying around your head.  But you can sure stop them from making nests in your hair.   And if you don’t, watch out.  Because everything is connected. 

That’s why before these words, Jesus made pretty much the same point about murder. Jesus said.  The commandment to not kill means more than simply not killing.  It means not cherishing anger and resentment against another.  It means not wounding another person with harsh and reckless words.  Why did Jesus expand the commandment like that?  Because, Jesus knows.  Everything is connected.   Murder doesn’t begin with the act.   Murder begins with the anger and resentment cherished long before the act even happens.     And Jesus knew.  You can give someone a deadly wound with simply the words you say.  

How many of you remember from years before a cruel word spoken to you, maybe even from someone you loved?  How many of you still feel the wound from a moment of anger unleashed on you years before?  How many are walking around carrying wounds that nobody will ever see, but are still painfully real?  That old saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”  That’s not true.  Here’s the truth. “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can rip your heart out.” 

Do not get what Jesus is saying to you about this command?  It’s not enough to not physically kill someone.  It’s not even enough to not mentally think about killing them.   You have got to stop killing with words and rage.   When you do that, you endanger not simply you.  You endanger the whole community of which you are part.  Why?  Because when it comes to relationships, everything is connected.   

And if you doubted that before, the internet put any doubts to rest doesn’t it?   In cyberspace, reckless words, harsh words, often untrue words are endangering the community, the world of which we are all a part.  People write things on the internet they’d never say face to face.   They unleash rage at random people, often strangers, with whom they disagree.  One website demonizes the other side, whatever that other side might be.   And Jesus makes it clear here.  Reckless and harsh words aren’t simply blowing off steam or making your point or even good political strategy.  No, they are wrong. They wound.  They may even kill.  They may endanger the safety of a whole community.

After all, the Civil War, that ripped this nation apart began not with guns, but with words, harsh words, reckless words.    In Rwanda, when Hutus killed millions of their fellow Tutsi citizens, reckless vile words inspired that massacre.   In fact, before any racial or ethnic violence comes, reckless, evil words always pave the way.       

The late great Senator, John McCain, got that.  That’s why, in 2008 at a campaign event, when he was running for President, someone expressed something untrue about McCain’s opponent.    And the Senator could have let it slide, but he didn’t.   He corrected the woman, firmly yet with compassion.  He sensed.  She truly believed these words.  And these words, false words, had infected her with fear, had made her feel less safe.    So, he calmly reassured her.  He said. “My opponent, Mr. Obama, is a citizen, a decent family man.  He is just someone with whom I have deep disagreements on fundamental issues.”    McCain got it.  McCain understood what Jesus did.    Reckless and harsh words can hurt, can injure not simply one person or even many.   No, they can endanger even an entire community. Why?  Because everything is connected.   

So, when you are tempted to unleash harsh words on the internet, remember everything is connected.  When you are tempted to say something derogatory, remember everything is connected.  When you find yourself cherishing anger, whether against a friend, or a public figure you’ve never met, remember, everything is connected.  That anger will infect you and others in more ways than you think.  So, don’t let it infect you.   Don’t let it infect others.   Don’t ever forget that when it comes to relationships, everything is connected.

But at the same time, give thanks that everything is.  For in that same passage on murder, Jesus said this.  If you are making a sacrifice to God, but know someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice.  First, go make peace.  Then make it.   But what Jesus didn’t say is this.  He had come to do both those things at the same time. He had come to make peace with you, by making a sacrifice, a sacrifice of his very life.  When God had something against you, when you had turned away from God’s love, betrayed God’s trust, disrespected God’s creation; God did not turn to you with murder or harsh words.  In Jesus, God turned to you with his very life.   And even as we killed him, Jesus prayed for our forgiveness.   And in that act of infinite love, God showed you that nothing, not even death, could defeat God’s love for you.   

And God didn’t bring that love simply to save you.  God brought that love to save everyone, the undocumented immigrant trying to survive; the politician whose positions or personality you most loath; the person who thinks just like you do; and the person whose thinking drives you up the wall.  And as appalling as it sounds, God loves them just as much as God loves you.  So, when your anger rises, and the harsh words come remember.  Everything is connected.    The same God who out of love died for you, out of that same love died for them too.   We’re all connected, whether we like it or not.   

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